At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize