We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
