You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
