yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it because I queefed?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize