Can Purell be used as lube?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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