Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
