If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just had sex bonerless
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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