Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
