Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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