Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
