I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
