hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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