there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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