And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize