isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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