I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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