That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
