Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
