i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize