I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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