At least make sure they are 18
Why
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
