I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize