Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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