i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Even my vagina gasped.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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