I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
