If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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