I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
