those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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