Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
