His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
