I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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