Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
