Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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