i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
where does the pee come out of this thing
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
