So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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