When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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