I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I looked at my own cervix.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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