He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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