Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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