I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
