By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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