I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
