on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
