my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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