He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
