I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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