I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize