Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
