I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
