brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
