2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
