nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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