We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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