Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
