let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
