Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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